Thursday, October 29, 2009

Et tu, Mary Cherry?

Once upon a time, I got a new kitten. I got to go into a room full of kittens and pick the one I wanted. I recommend this experience to anyone. That was nearly a decade ago, because when you lose an ovary, you get a kitten (obvi). I named her Mary Cherry.

She's always been a pretty good kitty, very snuggly, purrs a lot, cute white toes that look like a french mani. Recently though, she has taken to using my home as her personal toilet. She has peed on our bed, our couch, our arm chair, our rug, the bath mat, the shower curtain (not quite sure how she pulled that one off), on the couch blanket... you get the idea. This week we discovered poop on the new leather chair (had to throw out the old one. you know. on account of the cat piss.)

Tuesday night she peed on the bed. while we were sleeping in it.
I called around - there are no same-day cat pee on your bedding laundry services in this town. The only "green" dry cleaner says it will take a week. A WEEK. i really just need a jumbo washing machine. and a new cat.

For you "cat people" who are wondering if she is sick, I took her to the vet a month ago or so, to ask about all the pee. They did tests, charged me $200, and said she was fine. medically fine, just an a-hole. Since then I have spent a fortune on catnip toys and "cat pheromone diffusers" that are supposed to make her happy. They have not helped.


Does anyone want a cat?

Monday, October 26, 2009

it happened.

DirecTV has been disconnected. I have a feeling I will blog more often now, as have nothing else to do.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lactose and the joys of being a salaried employee

I am lactose intolerant. This is a tragedy. Somewhere around my senior year of college, my body announced "I SHALL NOT TOLERATE LACTOSE ANY LONGER!" and I went from eating ice cream, yogurt, quesadillas and cereal with milk to a whimpering shell of a person who could abstain from all that except for the occassional quesadilla (I make the best quesadilla in three counties) and now my husband and all those within range must suffer. I have found a product, however, that lessens the effects of the lactose. It's called Dairy-Relief and I get it at my Kaiser pharmacy but the bottle indicates it's made by Good Neighbor Pharmacy. I cannot say enough good things about this magic pill- it makes a world of difference for those of us with delicate stomachs and an affinity for melty cheese. It will change your life.

I bring this up because I can go pick some up tomorrow (along with a refill for my crazy pills) because I have a pseudo-day off. It's called a "flex" day and it's meant to make up for all the night meetings I have (like the epic four hour meeting last night) and I use it to run errands and the like. Don't be jealous if you don't get flex days, I still have to check emails and voicemails through out the day...but I'll be doing that while I get my hair did.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

fine, i spoke too soon

I have no bruise. It's almost as if my car-entry injury never happened... except that it hurts a bit going up stairs. Luckily, I have nearly weened myself completely off the office building coffee/sludge, and my trips up the stairs to the kitchen have lessened dramatically and stairs are no longer an issue. But the point is... the intense pain and wave of nausea accompanying the events of yesterday afternoon have left no sign.

So it is with my resolution to give up cable -- DirecTV has seen it fit to let me have an extended visit with cable service. We turn on the TV every morning and every evening, nervous that our luck has run out and that our free viewing of such treasures as Teen Cribs (my husband's guilty pleasure) and The Hills is over. No such termination has happened yet... knock on wood.

Monday, October 19, 2009

i hurt myself getting into my car.

i have a sizeable bruise and a steady ache in my right knee, caused by a collision with my steering column as i got into my sweet buick after lunch.

walking is fine, but stairs are proving to be painful. i wish i wasn't such a spaz.

A Sign from God? Or a Glitch?

So my cable was SUPPOSED to be cut off (or suspended) at midnight on Saturday. I spent the day preparing - I went to the library and picked up such jewels as the OJ Simpson If I Did It book, and Carrie Fisher's autobio. I moved the bose radio/CD player into the living room (for background noise). I even sat on my porch with a glass of champagne and enjoyed the sunset (just for a minute... Stockton after dark is not the safest) and I did some compost research and found that mushrooms in compost is nothing to worry about.
My husband did make me watch The Happening Saturday night (what I can only describe as a waste of perfectly good cable time)

But when I woke up on Sunday... there was still cable. I watched Real Housewives and Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I even caught some Emeril Live this morning before work. I'm not quite sure what to make of it...

Monday, October 12, 2009

We Did It - Countdown to NO CABLE!

Despite Emily's strict opposition (as well as a few other nay-sayers), we have cancelled our DirecTV cable service, effective this Saturday at Midnight.

I'm a little nervy, but it will be fine. I'm going to read more. Maybe even talk to my husband. Exercise? I wouldn't push it.