Friday, December 11, 2009


So it's been 2 weeks since my epic Thanksgiving Feast. And it was indeed epic. Epic gravy. Epic leftovers (note to self: 17 lbs of turkey is too much.). I did make a delicious turkey and barley soup (which again, there was too much of). The only viable leftovers now are stuffing, gravy, and some cranberry sauce (from scratch. Boom.)

I am now in full Christmas Mode. We even have a wreath on the front door! It's delightful, and my husband bought it for me as a surprise! So sweet. We decided no tree, because of the puppy and her tendency to eat things she shouldn't.

My holiday shopping is almost done. I had grand plans to make some gifts in my craft room. So far, all I've managed to create is a huge pile of fabrics from the remnant bin at JoAnn Fabrics, and a small mess. Maybe this weekend I will do something more...crafty.

Also, I am now obsessed with It's a crafter's paradise.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Date: day after thanksgiving
Guests: my family, his family and the puppies
Roast turkey a'la mommy
Horseradish potatoes gratin
Roasted fall vegetables with vinegrette
Green beans with shallot and toasted bread crumbs
Cheesy poufs
Yummy leek and Swiss chard tart
Other things with too much cheese
Brie with cranberry relish

Wearing the latex glove should make this even funner!
The whole Banks clan is journeying up here Thursday for a feast on Friday! Even grandma, who is 94, and uncle hal are coming! So excited. Also hoping for hostess gift. Too much? Sorry.

-under thirty

Monday, November 23, 2009

Things that are hard to do with only nine fingers

Type this blog.
Shower. (the latex glove doesn't exactly lend itself to pleasant shampooing)
Hair product application.
Logging in to work computer. Typing in general
Opening splenda packet for coffee
Pickin up the puppy without stabbing her. Check out this precious video though:

-under thirty

Sunday, November 22, 2009

All I do is clean. And go to the triage nurse.

So today was a big day. I cut my finger on a lightbulb. Immediately after getting out of the shower. So I was not dressed, bleeding profusely, and trying to keep my doggies out of the glass. And then there were at least four indoor poops today. Fancy just is not getting it yet (trying to be patient... it has only been three weeks. But patience is not a virtue I have)

Back to the lightbulb injury. In my defence, it's this crazy fixture up in my closet where you pull a string and recently the string had to be fixed, but I got it working so today when the light wasn't turning on, post-shower, I thought the bulb was loose. So I went to tighten it... and it broke and then there was bleeding. And hurting. So I went to kaiser (my v supportive husband went with me) and it didn't need stitches but it looks like this:

There are just a billion steri-strips and some adhesive stuff under there. So dramatic. It looks like a sports injury. I could totally be an athlete. Except that tomorrow I have a work meeting. I wonder how I will take minutes?

This is the newest addition to my craft room

Don't be jealous. So far the only thing I've made is a no-sew fleece cape for my neice...that I ended up having to sew to make it stay together. Totally cute though. Make your own!

Happy almost thanksgiving! I'm making my first big turkey dinner as a wife. It will be a doozie. Stay tuned!!

-under thirty

Monday, November 9, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Another day in puppy paradise

In the midst of new puppy mayhem, my darling husband decided a man cannot live on netflix and The Puppy Show alone ( though she keeps doing adorable things... I'll post a video of Fancy goes through the doggie door! ) and we got some gorg antenna for the tv. I am now proud to say we have 20 channels. For free.

21 if you include The Puppy Show.
I'm also pleased to report that Birdie and Fancy are becomming quite close!

- Posted by Under Thirty, Overstimulated

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

New Puppy!

We are just dying, she is so precious!
She loves to play!

Fancy is so sweet... I just hope Birdie and Mary Cherry don't freak out (too much)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Et tu, Mary Cherry?

Once upon a time, I got a new kitten. I got to go into a room full of kittens and pick the one I wanted. I recommend this experience to anyone. That was nearly a decade ago, because when you lose an ovary, you get a kitten (obvi). I named her Mary Cherry.

She's always been a pretty good kitty, very snuggly, purrs a lot, cute white toes that look like a french mani. Recently though, she has taken to using my home as her personal toilet. She has peed on our bed, our couch, our arm chair, our rug, the bath mat, the shower curtain (not quite sure how she pulled that one off), on the couch blanket... you get the idea. This week we discovered poop on the new leather chair (had to throw out the old one. you know. on account of the cat piss.)

Tuesday night she peed on the bed. while we were sleeping in it.
I called around - there are no same-day cat pee on your bedding laundry services in this town. The only "green" dry cleaner says it will take a week. A WEEK. i really just need a jumbo washing machine. and a new cat.

For you "cat people" who are wondering if she is sick, I took her to the vet a month ago or so, to ask about all the pee. They did tests, charged me $200, and said she was fine. medically fine, just an a-hole. Since then I have spent a fortune on catnip toys and "cat pheromone diffusers" that are supposed to make her happy. They have not helped.

Does anyone want a cat?

Monday, October 26, 2009

it happened.

DirecTV has been disconnected. I have a feeling I will blog more often now, as have nothing else to do.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lactose and the joys of being a salaried employee

I am lactose intolerant. This is a tragedy. Somewhere around my senior year of college, my body announced "I SHALL NOT TOLERATE LACTOSE ANY LONGER!" and I went from eating ice cream, yogurt, quesadillas and cereal with milk to a whimpering shell of a person who could abstain from all that except for the occassional quesadilla (I make the best quesadilla in three counties) and now my husband and all those within range must suffer. I have found a product, however, that lessens the effects of the lactose. It's called Dairy-Relief and I get it at my Kaiser pharmacy but the bottle indicates it's made by Good Neighbor Pharmacy. I cannot say enough good things about this magic pill- it makes a world of difference for those of us with delicate stomachs and an affinity for melty cheese. It will change your life.

I bring this up because I can go pick some up tomorrow (along with a refill for my crazy pills) because I have a pseudo-day off. It's called a "flex" day and it's meant to make up for all the night meetings I have (like the epic four hour meeting last night) and I use it to run errands and the like. Don't be jealous if you don't get flex days, I still have to check emails and voicemails through out the day...but I'll be doing that while I get my hair did.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

fine, i spoke too soon

I have no bruise. It's almost as if my car-entry injury never happened... except that it hurts a bit going up stairs. Luckily, I have nearly weened myself completely off the office building coffee/sludge, and my trips up the stairs to the kitchen have lessened dramatically and stairs are no longer an issue. But the point is... the intense pain and wave of nausea accompanying the events of yesterday afternoon have left no sign.

So it is with my resolution to give up cable -- DirecTV has seen it fit to let me have an extended visit with cable service. We turn on the TV every morning and every evening, nervous that our luck has run out and that our free viewing of such treasures as Teen Cribs (my husband's guilty pleasure) and The Hills is over. No such termination has happened yet... knock on wood.

Monday, October 19, 2009

i hurt myself getting into my car.

i have a sizeable bruise and a steady ache in my right knee, caused by a collision with my steering column as i got into my sweet buick after lunch.

walking is fine, but stairs are proving to be painful. i wish i wasn't such a spaz.

A Sign from God? Or a Glitch?

So my cable was SUPPOSED to be cut off (or suspended) at midnight on Saturday. I spent the day preparing - I went to the library and picked up such jewels as the OJ Simpson If I Did It book, and Carrie Fisher's autobio. I moved the bose radio/CD player into the living room (for background noise). I even sat on my porch with a glass of champagne and enjoyed the sunset (just for a minute... Stockton after dark is not the safest) and I did some compost research and found that mushrooms in compost is nothing to worry about.
My husband did make me watch The Happening Saturday night (what I can only describe as a waste of perfectly good cable time)

But when I woke up on Sunday... there was still cable. I watched Real Housewives and Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I even caught some Emeril Live this morning before work. I'm not quite sure what to make of it...

Monday, October 12, 2009

We Did It - Countdown to NO CABLE!

Despite Emily's strict opposition (as well as a few other nay-sayers), we have cancelled our DirecTV cable service, effective this Saturday at Midnight.

I'm a little nervy, but it will be fine. I'm going to read more. Maybe even talk to my husband. Exercise? I wouldn't push it.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Pet Peeves? I'd rather have a puppy.

An adult sent me the following email today:
"Me to lol. Thanks again"

While I should be grateful that it was a positive, appreciative email, the grammar tragedy cannot be ignored. This one is right up there with the sequins/sequence debacle that plagued my showchoir days.

I also don't tolerate incorrect lyrics, or incorrect movie quoting.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


You came, you voted, you committed voter fraud...

And none of it really matters because I'm canceling cable next week anyway. Sorry. Our life will probably be a lot like Little Women, where we read and act out plays and learn to play instruments, with love triangles and war and stuff.

Or, we will just watch The Wire on Netflix.

this is garbage.

no... it's compost!

As the resident Under Thirty Greenzo* around here, and as I have recently begun to garden... it is only appropriate that I craft my own compost bin out of an old plastic bin (that used to store sorority tshirts and the like)

Step 1. Drill holes in the top and bottom of the bin - 12 or so small holes to let your compost breathe.

Step 2. Fill bin about 1/8- 1/4 of the way with dried/dead green material, or shredded newspaper.

Step 3. Add dirt from your yard until it is half full.

Step 4. Add your food scraps.
Step 5. Stir!

Step 6. Water until just slightly damp.
Step 7. Wait... 2 months or so until the mulch is ready to use! You can add scraps as you have them, and make sure to stir it up when you add so it can do it's compost-y thing.

And maybe I can create more than just 3 green beans next time? We will see. It will be as entertaining as watching green beans not grow, I'm sure.

*Greenzo. noun. person obsessed with and likely very annoying about all things green. Thank you, 30 Rock.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Someone once told me that in order to gain readers on your blog, you need to air your friends' dirty laundry. I promptly ignored that advice (stating that I am far too self-centered to write things about anyone else) and after taking a few days off for Pool Day, I am now back to the grind...

and in my experience, the Always Leave Them Wanting More theory has always delivered. So maybe that's what I was doing over the long weekend? Causing a buzz? That, and swimming, eating, and drinking all too much at Emily's house, and snuggling with her adorable Dachshunds, Miles and Surely. Nothing like a girls' weekend to renew the spirit!

Though, my spirit is super anxious today. I wonder what it is I'm freaking about? Did I leave the coffee pot on? Did my compost get too wet? The roses too dry?

I should probably just go buy a new purse, and a casserole dish to roast a chicken in.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

you know you have OCD when...

- you dustbust outside. and not with a "dustbuster"... but with your Dyson handheld animal hair vacuum. that will never lose suction.

Gardening for Dummies

Behold: the entirety of my 2009 crop of green beans!

hopefully, my compost bin project that is currently underway (stay tuned! this means you!) will help my garden becomes more... fruitful.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Netflix - two points for slumdog millionaire. four points for mad men season 2 disk 4

Cable - two points for padma's outfit on top chef. Another point for her legs. One more point for the crying pageant mom on toddlers and tiaras.

Well played, you two. Well played.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


DirecTV (which costs $65 per month by the way) has incorrect guide information that has caused me to miss tonight's episode of Flipping Out. I have two things to say about this.
1. There is no excuse for incorrect guide info. I will not tolerate this kind of shoddy technology.
2. I want to officially add Flipping Out to the list of shows I luv

Note to direcTV: a three week old episode of top chef with a flipping out label isn't gonna fly with me.

Emily's pro-cable contingency takes an early lead in polls

Emily was available for a brief comment regarding her sudden and surprising lead in the Under Thirty, Overstimulated Poll regarding the Mr. and Mrs. Under Thirty Cable Question of 2009 (henceforth to be known as Cablegate). When asked if she was commiting voter fraud, her response was "no, i tried to, but i can't. it will only let you vote once ;)"

Monday, August 31, 2009

A Love Letter

My dearest husband sent this to me today:

"This was in my inbox today.....

My dearest Jessica,
We have come to a cross roads over this last turbulent week. I feel that I loved you with all my heart for some time now. We have shared, so much. Days, weeks, laying around gazing in to essentially, everything that is me. We have shared the best and worst of times...from quiet sundays on the couch romantic evenings with all of your attention focused on me and my warm embrace. I cannot just stand here with the thought of you leaving me, I am in limbo. Will I be asked to stay for you or be banished from your household. I wait patiently for your choice. Forever your lover and friend....

To cancel or not to cancel... Is this really such a hard question?

We had a revolutionary thought this weekend (pause for a moment to determine when, exactly, it happened that i became a "we".. but it is fair to say that my husband and i both came up with this solution to our tv "problem" around the same time)

What if we cancelled cable?

We recently (last week) decided we didn't really need to pay $36 for HBO, Showtime and STARZ or whatever it is. I do really miss having those extra pages of channels of my guide... but I also discovered at the same time that I was not that satisfied with the remaining programming. This is not to say that I didn't sit in front of "whatever's on" for hours of mindless entertainment... but with a few exceptions, I wasn't really too excited about what was on... so why should I continue to have cable?

In support of television, here is a list of what I AM excited about that is on tv:
project runway
models of the runway (it's an epidemic!)
real housewives of anywhere
true blood (though i have NO idea what is going on)
top chef
DIY Network

what i am not excited about, but i watch anyway...
wife swap
my antonio
the dish (to cover everything i haven't had a chance to watch)
reruns of 90210
dating in the dark
more to love
real chance of love, season 2
keeping up with the kardashians
do you see the problem??
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE TV. The problem is that I love it, maybe too much, and maybe at the expense of my actual life.

My husband just said to me "i think i just want to ride my bike and take naps in the grass or something" ... and at the risk of sounding like a hippie... it sounds fabulous.

Friday, August 21, 2009

What, like it's hard?

Things I planned to do today:
- level the dirt/ground up stump left in the middle of the lawn from the tree removal
- hose down garage (which my dog uses as a toilet)
- clear weeds from EVERYWHERE
- steam mop inside
- deadhead roses on side yard
- cook dinner

Things I will actually do today:
- hose down garage (but it needs another go, still smells like piss)
- clear weeds from about 10 sq. feet of yard
- pick up poop in back yard
- dig up dirt from about 1/2 of rear yard fence line, and replace with rocks that are along the house.
- go into work (EVEN THOUGH ITS MY KINDA DAY OFF) and fix agenda for next week's meeting, then go over agenda with client.
- go to home depot for double sided tape for quick favor to client, among other crafting supplies and some plants for my sad empty pots
- drink champagne
- throw everything for dinner in the over with olive oil and hope for the best

my grand plans seem to change by the hour. i need a project.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

i would willingly die a cheesy-pouf death

i just left a work meeting. it ended around 8:05. my dear husband was at school, so i did what any reasonable under thirty would do on a wednesday evening alone - i stopped at trader joe's for a bottle of under $5 champagne (to replace the nice bottle i really planned to drink) and a box of cheesy-poufs (i believe the trader calls them caramelized onion and feta pastry bites. they are available in the frozen section).

i feel that to really know me, you must understand a few things
- i am lactose-intolerant, but i cannot live without the lactose.
- i drink champagne. the cheap kind.
- the items listed above are on my mind for approx. 85% of the time

and on this wednesday evening, even a call from my new husband, saying he was at my FAVORITE fro you spot (again, with the lactose) could not distract me from my cheesy-poufs and champagne.

this was no ordinary bottle of champagne. my delightful coworkers gave me a gift bottle of champagne as a wedding gift (and a Bissel steam mop, a dozen fresh eggs from a coworker's chickens, and a Kohl's gift card!) and it was the kind that costs more than $5. the kind that comes from France. and it is so delicious, i almost can't bear it. but it compliments the cheesy-poufs perfectly, so i drank it. most of it.

i have to interrupt, and say that i just realized that there was cat poop on a blanket over the back of the chair i was sitting in. wow. thanks, Mary Cherry. sorry that taking care of you and loving you for a decade isn't enough to keep you from crapping all over my life.

you see, i got engaged about a year ago, give or take a few months. and ever since i learned how, i have loved champagne and enjoyed it frequently. given that champagne is a symbol of a wedding and a celebration, i enjoyed champagne even more frequently as i anticipated my nuptials. so much so that i had to go on a champagne diet, and lay off the bottle of champagne i had taken to drinking every evening after work. since the wedding is now over, i feel that i can enjoy as much champagne as i want, since my husband has "bought the cow", as they say, and my champagne weight won't scare him off.

the point is, cheesy-poufs and paul laurent champagne (paid for by someone else) is the perfect meal to end a not as perfect work day. and it reminds me that life can be fixed by just a little cheesy, bubbly treat, and it's not so bad after all.